I am learning to let go.
In this culture, that concept goes against everything we are taught.
SET YOUR GOALS!
STRIVE AT ALL COSTS!
HANG ONTO THAT DREAM!
It is shouted from every rooftop and every business book, chat rooms, LinkedIn, self-help manuals, and on and on….
But I am finding out that HANGING ON is easy, it’s LETTING GO that is the difficult work.
Because we wrap ourselves up in our dreams, and they begin to determine if we are happy or constantly angry, resentful and sometimes hateful to those people or circemstances that get in our way of our dream.
“DAMMIT”, I have often said. “I WILL DO THIS AND NOTHING WILL STOP ME!”
And then I would fight any person, any event, anything at all that got in my way, I would be miserable to other people, and I would be miserable myself if I wasn’t changing something that I needed to change. I’d stay awake nights worrying about how I would get it done. I’d concoct behind the scenes manipulations, or feel guilty and overwhelmed because I wasn’t achieving what I set out to do. I’d work harder and longer until I was so mentally exhausted that I couldn’t see straight.
Because I had learned to be totally attached to the idea that I can control everything, if I just try hard enough. And that MY IDEA of what needed to be done is DOGGONE IT the only right idea. And if everyone else wasn’t buying into the idea, well then – they are all just idiots.
Did you ever run into someone you thought was overbearing, thoughtless, and stubborn? Then you have run into someone who bought into the idea that they can control the world if they just try hard enough. (Note, that’s generally how we get dictators…)
I’m finally learning and practicing not to be too attached to any idea I have. Let it go. Change it up. Smile regardless of whether it’s “working out”. Make a “bad situation” into a good one. Go with the flow. Find my karma. Every day should be great even if I don’t get my way. “My way or the highway” has gone down the highway now. (OK — THAT was circular logic!)
It sure is an easier life to live. I still have my dreams and my ideas…. but if I have to change it or exchange it for another idea… that’s OK. It doesn’t make me a wimpy person or an aimless wanderer. I set down the road for a goal, but if there’s a fork in the raod, I can sit and think about it… and change direction. It’s OK.