Myself as an Idiot

Just recently, a condensed version of one of my blogs (about riding my first endurance ride) was published in the national Endurance Ride magazine.  At first, it is an honor to see yourself in print in a national magazine.  But as I read over the article again, which was written to be a humourous piece, I realized I sounded like a total idiot.

Village_Idiot3I’ve been an idiot many times.  I’ve been treated like an idiot times when I am not, and at times treated seriously when I was behaving like an idiot.  So I am very much used to feeling like an idiot.  It seems to be a frequent way of life for me.

But what I got to thinking about this time was:  Should it bother me that I’m an idiot?

In any moment, you take all of your experiences, emotions, past memories and a bit of logic… mix them together in a mush, and then ACT.  (or in most cases TALK).  Then why, why, why, assuming you have a reasonable amount of intelligence, does the mush still come out as if it came from an idiot?

I don’t know the answer to that question.  If I did, I’d stop doing it…and get a bumper sticker  that says “IDIOT NO MORE”.

idiot2Since I can’t seem to stop it, I’ll use some Buddhism training to accept it.  Buddhism says to accept reality as it is, rather than live in a dream of what could (or should) be.  So rather than dreaming as if I will do and say all kinds of WISE things, I will accept that most likely I will continue to do and say IDIOT things… and stop beating myself up about it.

And I will practice saying, “Boy, I was being such an idiot when I said (or did) that.”

I’ll practice my humanity, idiocy and all.

Now if I can just get all these OTHER IDIOTS in my world to go away, I’d be much happier.

village-idiot-2

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6 thoughts on “Myself as an Idiot

  1. I LOVED your endurance ride article. I caught it through the AERC fb page or maybe the Green Bean page. Anyway, it was so funny. I have yet to do even an LD since I am resaddling both horses. What a headache…..I’ve got the Morgan squared away, still working on finding a saddle for my Arab. Your article made me want to be out on the trail right now working toward my first 25. Thanks for your transparency and humor!

  2. Ginny, I just ran across your story about your endurance experience. I love it. I have been doing endurance (well LD to be exact) for a number of years now, but haven’t been able to do the longer distance yet. I have several failed attempts on the 25 mile distance so the fact that you did it first time out says alot in my book. It’s not easy. I did several rides on my Morgan mare . She was great and we had a few good successes together. Glad I found your blog. I will be following along!

  3. hey ginny, good humor here and of course I like your conclusion. but I refuse to accept your premise. I must admit I have had those feelings -such a downer. but i try to ignore them because, as you say, there is little I can do about it.

  4. Why are you beating yourself up? I thought it was a fun post by a first time rider- humor is good! Not everyone wants to be a “serious” competitor. Besides, I have found that ‘generally’ the top, most experienced riders are the nicest, most helpful and still have a sense of humor. Once you stop learning it’s not fun anymore. I think the AERC motto is still ‘To Finish is to Win’.

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