Lettuce Give Thanks

Whoever coined the term “Let us give thanks for our daily bread” hasn’t been to my house lately.

A. I don’t eat much bread (since I learned about the effects on your body of the new genetically modified wheat…!  If you haven’t read up on it… please do!)

B. They haven’t seen my lettuce patch.

Real picture of my garden

I am AWASH in lettuce. Every day I can pick a big “Kroger bag” full of leaves.

When I planted the seeds in February, nothing sounded better than fresh lettuce.  So as usual I went overboard.  I nursed those babies all through this frigid winter; the nursery was on a large table in the corner of our living room.

What better decor than seedlings in your living room?  Ask Martha Stewart, she’ll agree.  Well, no — Martha would have you build (by hand) a greenhouse where you could grow all your herbs, veggies and flowers….  MAYBE next year a small greenhouse…?

But the good side is:  Lettuce is a great ice-breaker.

“Here, take my lettuce.  No, PLEASE, take my lettuce!”

On the other hand, the chickens are on strike so I am NOT awash in eggs.  From four hens we get one measly egg a day!  They must have formed a union. “Anything over one egg a day, and we demand overtime pay!”  HA!   This is Kentucky, chickens.  We don’t need no stinkin’ unions. (especially in the coal mines…)

LG&E Seeks to Dump Coal Waste into Ohio River

Speaking of coal mines, how about that “War on Coal” EPA stuff, huh? Yes, we’d rather keep some jobs (read: Coal Companies profit) here in Kentucky rather than try to help the planet from collapsing into a ball of heat.  We’d rather breathe the noxious gas rather than re-train coal miners.  We’d rather pollute mountain town water rather than even THINK about solar or hydro.

Which is why I plant lettuce (NOTE: THIS IS THE SEGUE BETWEEN COAL AND LETTUCE.  DID YOU SEE IT COMING?  NEITHER DID I.).  I figure when California runs out of water  (OH,  you say it already has?)  and Mexico can’t ship veggies across the border since fuel prices will skyrocket (OH, you say they already have??)  and migrant workers can’t come pick the Florida produce due to the Great Wall of China the US will build on the U.S.-Mexican border (OH, we started that wall but ran out of money).. then I will need lettuce.

AWWWW… Could you eat this little one? Bring me another plate of lettuce.

 

Anyone have an extra heifer I can buy?